From Back in the 20th Century #2

From Back in the 20th Century #2

Back before we had Facebook, when people came across an interesting quote or funny story, they sent it to all their friends by email. And they forwarded all the funny stories they received through email on to their other friends. Today I continue an occasional, temporary feature of interesting or funny emails I printed out in 1998 and 1999, that remained in my file cabinet until recently. I do not know the original source of any of these; they were so widely circulated that they may or may not represent violations of copyright law. If you recognize anything I post, please let me know who the author is, and I will attach an acknowledgement.

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if…

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month.

He paints flames and slaps an NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.

You have a shuttle called Billy Joe Bob.

He refers to Klingons as critters.

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section.

He says “Yee-Haw!” instead of “Engage.”

He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.

He insists on calling his executive officer Bubba.

He sets the for view screen to returns of Bassmaster.

His idea of dress uniform is clean bib overalls.

He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.

He sets phaser to Cajun.

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