It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
The setting is New Jersey in June, 1967–back in the days when MacDonald’s had no inside dining room. Dave and Beth (two of the antagonists) are on their first date.
Dave paid for the shakes and handed one to Beth. They poked their straws through the crosscuts on the lids and sucked down their first sips of the sweet, thick, frosty confection. “Mmmm. I love MacDonald’s shakes. This is nice. Thank you for inviting me.”
“You’re welcome. I’ve wanted to ask you out ever since I saw you at the first Silent Spring discussion at the library.” Dave gave Beth his best movie star smile as he led her back to his Chevy C10 pickup and opened the door for her, so they could continue enjoying their shakes in comfort, rather than sitting on the hard benches built into MacDonald’s exterior walls.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 5? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.