
It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
I received so much excellent feedback from my last excerpt–thank you, fellow warriors!–but also a lot of questions about Willis’ motivations and character, where he’d been, and what he’d been up to. This snippet continues where we left off last week, the conversation between Willis and his household chief-of-staff, Bennett, and I hope the answers to the questions are now more evident:
“But you didn’t call! I would have come to get you, sir.”
Willis smiled. “It was late and I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Sir, it wouldn’t have been a disturbance. It would have been my pleasure.”
“That’s kind of you, Bennett.”
“Then you bagged a rhino, sir?”
“Yes, a large bull. Of course, he’s held up in customs, but that’s to be expected.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 8? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.
Haha that last line was great. Nice work!
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He’s obviously rich and an adventurer, so I definitely want to know more about him. Nice snippet! And thanks for the great review of AFTER ME. 🙂
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My pleasure! Keep doing what you’re doing.
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Hmm. Not sure what to think of a couple of guys puffed up about hunting a rhinoceros. As for being held up in Customs, that’ll teach the rhino to keep his passport up to date.
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Loved that last line! Now we know what he was up to.
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Snappy dialogue,Andrea.
Very revealing of the natures of the speakers. Nicely done.
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