It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their WIPs on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.
Hillary has brought her friends Robin and Allie deep into the woods to see the unicorn she discovered. While eating a picnic lunch in the meadow, Hillary and Robin catch a glimpse of the elusive creature and alert Allie.
“What the heck,” said Allie, jumping to her feet and shading her eyes with her hand. “Where?”
“Look there, between the trees,” said Robin, pointing at the retreating white figure.
“I don’t see any unicorn,” said Allie.
“Right there,” said Robin, still pointing. “That’s his rear end.”
“No, that’s bull crap,” said Allie.
Shock registering on his face, Robin turned to her. “Allie, I saw it. Horn and everything.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 10? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.