Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
Today’s snippet [edited to fit] is a continuation of last week‘s. Deep in the woods, Hillary and Robin heard a commotion and suspected it involved the unicorn (Bob). Investigating, they found two people (Dave and Beth) attempting to capture Bob. They interfered, and Bob escaped.
Hillary rounded Robin and got in the man’s face. “You can’t catch the unicorn.”
“Well, I almost did, and I will, next time!”
“Over my dead body!” challenged Hillary, her fists clenched.
“Come on, Dave, let’s go; we won’t get him today,” interceded the woman.
“Don’t you ever butt in again, missy,” shouted the man, pointing his finger at Hillary. “You don’t know who you’re messing with.”
“Neither do you,” retorted Hillary.
She watched as the man and woman retreated. When they were out of sight, Hillary turned to Robin and said, “Oh my gosh–I have to save the unicorn—from them.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.