Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
In last week’s excerpt, Hillary and Robin thwarted two unicorn hunters who were trying to capture Bob (the unicorn). Hillary knows Bob well, but Robin’s only seen him from a distance before. After the hunters leave, Robin gets his first chance to actually touch Bob.
He reached out his hand to stroke the unicorn’s back. Bob responded by nuzzling him, making Robin grin. “He likes me.”
“What’s not to like?” Hillary said. Her face flushed with self-consciousness.
But Robin kept his eyes on Bob. He touched the horn, and quickly pulled back his fingers. “His horn pulsates.”
Hillary touched it tentatively. “It’s vibrating, like energy is running through it.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small snippet from Chapter 16? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.