Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #37

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #37

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

7. The Unicorn in CaptivityThe Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

In last week’s snippet, Dave and Beth tracked the unicorn.

Finally, when it was just feet ahead, Dave silently handed the hacksaw to Beth and motioned to her to stay back.

Then he lunged forward and caught the unicorn in a headlock. “Go ahead–cut the horn!”

“Me–I can’t do it!”

With a powerful flick of his head, the unicorn flung Dave off. “Get it!” he screamed at Beth.

Beth dropped the hacksaw and tried to restrain the unicorn, but instead of surrendering, the unicorn evaded her, backing out of her grasp. Turning around, he lowered his head, gored Dave in the side with his horn, and galloped away.

“No!” Beth ran to Dave, whose face drained of color.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 20? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

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