Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
We return to Beth and Dave, who in last week’s snippet tried to cut off the unicorn’s horn, earning a nice goring for Dave. We pick up a few moments later.
“I’m taking off your shirt,” she said, starting to undo his buttons.
Dave shook his head no.
“You need a bandage, and I’m not taking off my shirt.” She finished unbuttoning him and stripped the shirt off. She folded up the body of the shirt, centered it on the puncture in his chest, and tied it around him with the sleeves. “Put pressure on that.”
Obediently, Dave pressed his hand over the wound.
Beth put his other arm around her neck. “Now stand up–I’ll help you.”
Dave struggled to his feet, crying out in pain.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 20? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.