Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #40

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #40

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Willis Terwilliger is a cosmetics magnate and big-game hunter (this is 1967, before there were laws prohibiting it). On the way home from a fishing trip in an earlier chapter, he stopped for a meal at Niko’s, a diner, also a hangout for the kids who go to Hillary’s school. He overheard Hillary’s friend Allie gossiping about her (Hillary’s) unicorn obsession, insisting she’d seen one in the woods.

In another part of the forest, Willis Terwilliger tread softly in his tan pocketed hunting vest, camera around his neck. Before he committed to the hunt, he wanted to be sure his quarry actually existed, and not just in the minds of goofy teenagers.

He stooped to examine some hoofprints, like a deer’s, but larger. Next to it he spied small shoeprints, maybe size six or seven. If these were indeed unicorn tracks, then the story of the kids who had seen it was true.

wewriwa2He imagined himself bringing down the legendary beast–it would take all his patience and cunning. Maybe he’d have to stalk it for days, weeks. But in the end, his skill would pay off, and his taxidermist would have the immensely satisfying job of preserving a unique specimen. His party guests would congratulate him on his good fortune, and he would beguile them with stories of his own courage and perseverance.

Willis snapped a photo of the tracks, and then followed them, smiling.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

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