Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
A couple of snippets ago, Hillary spent her first night camping out in the woods. It didn’t go well. The next day, she tells Bob (the unicorn) all about it.
Looking into his intelligent eyes, she confided, “I had a bad night.”
Bob nodded knowingly.
Bob shook his head vehemently enough to knock Hillary’s caressing hand off his neck.
“You don’t think I should be afraid?”
Again, Bob shook his head vigorously.
“But creatures were watching me and growling…”
Bob’s eyes blinked. In them, Hillary read reassurance.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.