Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
It’s Hillary’s second night camping alone in the woods. She’s just crawled into her sleeping bag.
Moments later, the whispers began. Worthless! Stupid! Why don’t you just die? Go away! You’re not welcome here.
Hillary sat up and shuddered. She clamped her hands over her ears and rocked herself. She could still hear the taunting words.
Trembling and whimpering to drown out the voices, she clamped her eyes shut to deaden her sense of doom.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from the end of Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.