Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #42

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #42

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

It’s Hillary’s second night camping alone in the woods. She’s just crawled into her sleeping bag.wewriwa2

Moments later, the whispers began. Worthless! Stupid! Why don’t you just die? Go away! You’re not welcome here.

Hillary sat up and shuddered. She clamped her hands over her ears and rocked herself. She could still hear the taunting words.

Trembling and whimpering to drown out the voices, she clamped her eyes shut to deaden her sense of doom.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from the end of Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

15 responses »

    • Good catch! I didn’t even see that. (One of the reasons I love participating–it’s good to get some eagle eyes on your work!)

      Like

  1. I just jumped into this, so I can’t really give advice on how to improve anything. But I am definitely wondering what the voices are! Great snippet!

    And yay! You have 5 kids too! I always get happy to find others that have large families. Mine are 15, 13, 9, 7, and 5! Amazed I can even do WeWriWa sometimes, lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m a little older than you. We’re empty nesters. Our kids range in age from 27-37, so, like you, we did the 5-kids-in-10-years. It’s super hectic for you now, but also rewarding (and fun, sometimes).

      Liked by 1 person

      • I love them more than anything in the world and can’t imagine not having all of them. But with that being said, I also don’t want any more either, especially that my youngest just started Kindergarten, I don’t think I could do baby stages all over again. Plus I’ve been divorced from their dad for almost 3 years now, which just adds another level of craziness to it all.

        Nice to meet you! And I look forward to reading more of your writing!

        Liked by 1 person

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