Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
Hillary is camping in the woods by herself.
A snuffling sound roused Hillary to semi-consciousness. Opening her eyes to pre-dawn gloom, she heard a deep groan. She maneuvered herself onto her hands and knees and peeked out of the tent.
A hulking black shape nosed at the base of a tree by her campsite. Bear, bear, bear!
Hillary crawled out of the far end of the tent and soundlessly rose to her feet. Keeping her eyes on the bear, she backed away.
The bear stood up on its hind legs, sniffed the air, and turned to face Hillary.
Despite her pounding heart, she addressed him with all the assertiveness she could muster. “Bear, I’m not going to bother you, and you’re not going to bother me.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.