Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
Hillary is camping out in the woods by herself (so she can protect the unicorn), unbeknownst to her parents. While gathering firewood, she hears the secret whistle of her former best friend, Allie, and meets her. (Sorry for the wonky punctuation; trying to adhere to the length guidelines.)
“Hi, let’s go to our tree,” said Hillary.
“Climbing trees is kid stuff.”
“Your parents called and asked for you.”
Hillary gulped air.
“Don’t worry, I covered for you—I remembered they were on their honeymoon and you were supposed to stay with us. I said you were at the library and I didn’t want to go. I asked if they were having fun, and your dad said yes. I told them you were fine and they shouldn’t worry, they should just enjoy their honeymoon.”
“Wow, Allie, thanks.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.