Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #51

Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #51

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

We’re moving forward several hours from the last snippet. Dave and Beth caught Hillary and tied her to a tree so they could capture Bob (the unicorn) without having to fight her off. When Hillary finally extricates herself from her bonds, she hears a commotion and finds them preparing to saw off Bob’s horn (the alicorn).

The man caught Bob in a neck hold and reached for his horn. He let go as soon as he touched it, apparently startled by its pulsation. Then he resolutely grasped it again and nodded to his companion. The woman had a hacksaw and moved it toward the alicorn. She practiced a sawing motion and moved closer still.

“Stop!” shouted Hillary.

“Go ahead! Do it now! Saw it off!” yelled the man.

The woman tried, but with a mighty lurch of his head, Bob deflected her and threw the man into the air.wewriwa2

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 24? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.


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