Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
In last week’s snippet, Dave suggested he and Beth kill the unicorn, to make it easier to saw off the desired horn. We pick up with the next sentence:
“How? You don’t have a gun, do you?” asked Beth.
“No, but last week I bought this.” Dave crawled over to his duffle bag and took out a sheath. After hesitating for dramatic effect, he slid a hunting knife from the case and admired its edge.
“You’re going to stab it to death? Do you realize how much force it will take against an animal that size, one with magical powers, no less? You’re not strong enough.”
“No, I can do it–this knife is as sharp as a scalpel.”
Putting her face in her hands, Beth muttered, “You’re insane.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 25? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.
ARHtistic License 
Great scene. I like her reaction, it is insane.
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Dave seems very determined regardless of everything stacked against his efforts.
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Yeah, I don’t like Dave at all. Which just says what a good job you’re doing as the author in portraying him! I keep wondering if the horn would even retain its magic, once removed from the unicorn…
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According to my sources, during the Middle Ages alicorns (unicorn horns) were a highly prized commodity. Royalty often possessed an intact (whole) one, and the nobility, a portion of one. It was a flourishing market. Mostly they were kept in the dining room to detoxify food, since poisoning was the leading form of murder.
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Yeah, I agree, that’s crazy. Great snippet.
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Of the two of them, I trust Beth’s judgement, not his.
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No….don’t kill the unicorn!
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I agree with Beth. He’s crazy!
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Well, at least it should be easy for the unicorn to outsmart Dave. I have a feeling he’s not wise enough to listen to Beth.
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I can only hope he gets his cummupance! What a horrible person. Not too keen on Beth either, although she is not as bad as he is. Hope the unicorn gets away!
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Maybe this will divide the little villains. Dave is a true looney tune.
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Yeah, try to stab the wild animal with a knife. Hope it ends with him getting gored!
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He already got himself gored when he tried to cut the horn off the live unicorn. (That’s why he now wants to kill the unicorn first.)
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Unicorn needs better aim!
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Yup, I would say that’s pretty insane haha. 😉
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Excellent job in making the reader really dislike him. 🙂
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*starts listing the ways this plan could go bad vs the ways it could work* Yep. Insane. (I mean, technically it could work — if the unicorn was captured and restrained so it couldn’t kick, bite, or gore…)
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Having just finished the Last Unicorn, this makes me sad. Please leave the unicorn alone. Great snippet.
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You know, I’ve never read The Last Unicorn. I guess I ought to.
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