Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #58

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Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #58

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

From Gabe’s Garage of Goodies (picture book): Gabe has too many power tools, and his efforts to help always end in disaster. Can Mike ditch Gabe without hurting his feelings?

After last week’s snippet, Mike tried to discourage Gabe from vacuuming his truck by insisting he had to leave for the supermarket. Gabe tries to convince him to come over for a barbecue (edited for brevity):

“But you gotta eat–might as well eat at my house. You bring the chips; I’ll whip up some hot dogs and burgers on my brand new GastroAtomic Grill. What do you say?”

Maybe if I say “yes,” I’ll be able to convince him to leave me alone for now. “Sure.”

~~~

That evening when Mike went next door, Gabe had his GastroAtomic Grill fired up so high that the flames threatened to ignite the overhanging tree branches. A dozen burgers and hot dogs were already charred black. Gabe frantically twirled the knobs on his grill, trying to get the heat under control. Seeing the concern on Mike’s face, Gabe said, “Not to worry—I’ve got my fire extinguisher right here.” He pointed to a garden hose snaking across the patio.

wewriwa2I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

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18 responses »

  1. This snippet made me laugh.

    (I should send it to my best friend who likes her meat well done to the point of being shoe leather and who has been known to say “Burn it” when asked how she wants it done.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL! My husband likes his steaks burnt on the outside but pink on the inside. He prefers his lemon herb chicken burnt, too.

      Like

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