Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #59

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Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #59

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundayshare 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

From Gabe’s Garage of Goodies (picture book): Gabe has too many power tools, and his efforts to help always end in disaster. Can Mike ditch Gabe without hurting his feelings?

Picking up from the scary barbecue scene from last week:

Finally, he [Gabe] adjusted the flames to a reasonable height and scraped incinerated food off the grill. “I’ll get some more burgers and dogs,” he said, turning to the back door. In a moment, he reappeared with a platter piled high with hamburger patties and frankfurters—many more than two people could possibly eat.

In answer to Mike’s raised eyebrow, Gabe said, “I just want to be sure we have plenty. Would you like your rolls toasted?”

“NO!” said Mike, thinking about Gabe’s lack of skill with the grill.

In no time at all, the hot dogs and burgers were done to perfection. The men carried them over to the picnic table, where Gabe had laid out an assortment of condiments, rolls, side dishes, and Mike’s chips and onion dip.wewriwa2

“Wow, this is a lot of food,” commented Mike.

“Yeah, but we can handle it,” said Gabe as he ladled ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, chili, and sauerkraut onto his hot dogs and hamburgers.

I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

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15 responses »

  1. Wow, they seriously need some other people to drop by and help eat the food! I had to smile at the remark about toasted buns – yes, I wouldn’t trust this guy to JUST toast the bread – it’d probably go up in flames too! Great snippet.

    Liked by 1 person

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