Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #60

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Weekend Writing Warriors, Snippet #60

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sundayshare 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

From Gabe’s Garage of Goodies (picture book): Gabe has too many power tools, and his efforts to help always end in disaster. Can Mike ditch Gabe without hurting his feelings?

Gabe's Garage.jpg

At the end of last week’s barbecue, Mike makes a request:

“Gabe, I was wondering—could I borrow your hedge clippers?” asked Mike.

“Sure–follow me,” invited Gabe, leading the way to the garage.

wewriwa2He raised the door, and Mike couldn’t believe what he saw: the entire garage was lined with shelves, and every shelf was stuffed with boxes, some of which had never been opened. The floor was covered with stacks of boxes and piles of tools. The men could barely squeeze their way among the merchandise.

“This section is the automotive department, and over here is the paint shop, and there are my carpentry supplies, and the lawn-and-garden stuff is right here.” Gabe wedged himself between an electric mower and a gas mower and slithered past a weed chopper before tiptoeing through a maze of rakes, hoes, hole diggers, and weeding claws. “Now, here are the manual hedge clippers,” he said, handing Mike what looked like an enormous pair of scissors, “but I’m sure my electric ones are here someplace.” Gabe rummaged around on the shelves. “I had everything in alphabetical order once,” he confided apologetically.

Please pardon the run-on sentences; I’m trying to keep to the 10-sentence limit. I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

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