Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #63

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #63

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

From Gabe’s Garage of Goodies (picture book): Gabe has too many power tools, and his efforts to help always end in disaster. Can Mike ditch Gabe without hurting his feelings?

After last week’s snippet, Mike manages to escape from Gabe before he can demonstrate his hydro-scrubber, but moments later there’s a knock at his door. (Please forgive the creative punctuation, which has been altered from the original to fit the 10-sentence limit.)

Mike peeked through the peephole. Oh, no–it’s Gabe. Maybe I’ll pretend I’m not home.

“I know you’re in there, Mike. Please open the door; I need to ask you a question.”

Mike sighed, unlocked the door, and swung it open.wewriwa2

Gabe wrung his hands and cleared his throat. “Uh, Mike, did I do something to make you mad?”

Mike looked down at his shoes.

“It seems like all my friends are avoiding me,” Gabe continued…

And on to the moment of truth. This is the last excerpt from Gabe’s Garage of Goodies. Next week I’ll treat you to a snippet from another story.

I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

15 responses »

    • I left out the sentence that explains what he’s thinking: How do I answer without hurting his feelings? (Trying to keep to the 10-sentence rule.)

      Like

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