Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.
Starting today, I’m sharing snippets from another picture book manuscript, Mine. Seven-year-old Buddy terrorizes the playground, appropriating everyone’s toys. How can the kids teach him a lesson and get their stuff back? Here are the opening lines:
From the top of the slide, Buddy watched the entire playground.
His eyes focused on two boys in the sandbox playing with a dump truck. They drove it around an imaginary road, loaded it up with sand, moved it to a low place, and dumped out their load. It looked like so much fun that Buddy couldn’t bear merely to watch. He slid down the slide and ran to the sandbox.
“Mine!” he cried, and pulled the truck away from the boys.
Startled, the boys looked at each other, shrugged, and dug in the dirt with their hands.
Meanwhile, Buddy loaded and dumped, loaded and dumped, and and made motor noises while he moved the truck through the sand.
I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.