Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #66

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #66

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

Mine! Six-year-old Buddy terrorizes the playground, appropriating everyone’s toys. How can the kids teach him a lesson and get their stuff back?

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In last week’s snippet, Buddy stole a boy’s kite, and crashed it. Today we find him by the basketball court.

Two tall boys took turns dribbling a ball around the court, jumping high into the air, and dunking the ball into the basket–swoosh!

Buddy wished he could dunk the ball, but the boys were so big; how could he get the ball from them?

Two girls giggled, watching the boys play, and the boys showed off–swoosh, swoosh, swoosh! The girls clapped, and the boys set the ball down and moved closer to the girls so they could admire each other better.

Buddy picked up the basketball and threw it toward the basket. Three times he missed.

The boys and girls noticed Buddy’s failures and laughed. “Just put the ball down,” one of the boys shouted.

“Mine!” protested Buddy. He gathered the ball, the pail and shovel, and the dump truck, and ran all the way to the water fountain.

I know it’s short (10-sentence limit), but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

 

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