Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.
Mine! Six-year-old Buddy terrorizes the playground, appropriating everyone’s toys. How can the kids teach him a lesson and get their stuff back?
In last week’s snippet, Buddy had just stolen a Frisbee. In the final snippet of Mine? Buddy rests at a picnic table with all his illegally acquired goods spread out around him, watching what the other kids are doing.
A boy fished a section of newspaper out of the wastebasket, unfolded it, and crumpled the pages into a tight ball. He threw it to another boy, who kicked it to another. More children joined them. They ran and laughed and fell down and giggled and got up and ran again. The crumpled paper ball passed from child to child. Soon, every kid on the playground was involved in the game—that is, every kid except Buddy.
Buddy longed to hold that ball in his hands. When he could bear his envy no longer, he screamed, “Mine!” and pursued the object of his desire.
The ball changed hands repeatedly, always remaining just beyond Buddy’s reach. He ran farther and farther, not noticing that, one by one, the children dropped out of the game, retrieved their stolen toys from the picnic table, and walked home.
We’re stopping about five minutes before Buddy finally receives his epiphany–his realization of what his horrible behavior has cost him.
Next week I’ll share a snippet from Lottie Loses the Lottery.
I know it’s short, but what do you think of this small excerpt? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.
A smart idea to get their toys back.
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We can only hope he learns his lesson. Fun story.
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Karma always has a hard lesson to teach. Not only did he lose that which never belonged to him in the first place, he lost friends that will never want to play with him again. And who could blame them? It’s interesting how you wrote this; I find myself feeling bad for both parties. Nice work!
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And that’s what Buddy finally realizes–he missed his opportunity to make friends. It wasn’t the crumpled newspaper that was special, it was the kids who played together that made it fun. Lots of “stuff” doesn’t guarantee happiness.
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You’re absolutely right, and that’s a hard pill to swallow. It seems like he’s finally swallowed it and now he can start to change for the better.
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I wish I could feel bad for him, but… He brought it on himself.
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Smart kids! That’s the best way to circumvent a bully.
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And they didn’t even have to resort to violence.
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Excellent way to make a point, Andrea! I like the turn in this story. 🙂
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So interesting how things turned out for him. Can’t wait to see if he realizes what he’s done.
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I hope he learns his lesson from this.
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Whichever one of the kids dreamed this up has a future as a diplomat!
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We should hire him to handle North Korea!
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Nice! That was clever. His drive to possess everything means he gets only a piece of trash.
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Very clever 🙂 I liked the idea that the kids got enjoyment out of somehting so simple like a cumpled up newspaper. Nice snippet.
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