Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.
Lottie Loses the Lottery (picture book): Lottie has the worst luck. She didn’t win the lottery–but her next-door neighbor, Eva, did. How can Lottie shed her funky mood and be genuinely happy for Eva?
Eva has just called Lottie to tell her the wonderful news–she won the big jackpot!
“Yeah,” said Lottie, tears burning her eyes like acid. “And you’re calling me because you want to split it with me, your best friend, right?”
“Very funny! No, but I’ll invite you to my celebration party. Goodbye–I’ve got to call my mother!”
Lottie set the phone down and shuffled to her bedroom.
She tossed and turned and finally fell asleep, dreaming of clouds of dollar bills swirling past her as if blown by the wind. She tried to catch some, but they always evaded her grasp. Thousands and thousands of dollars! Oh, why couldn’t they all be hers?
I know it’s short (10-sentence limit), but what do you think of this snippet? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.