Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.
Lottie Loses the Lottery (picture book): Lottie has the worst luck. She didn’t win the lottery–but her next-door neighbor, Eva, did. How can Lottie shed her funky mood and be genuinely happy for Eva?
Eva has just called Lottie to tell her the wonderful news–she won the big jackpot!
“Yeah,” said Lottie, tears burning her eyes like acid. “And you’re calling me because you want to split it with me, your best friend, right?”
“Very funny! No, but I’ll invite you to my celebration party. Goodbye–I’ve got to call my mother!”
Lottie set the phone down and shuffled to her bedroom.
She tossed and turned and finally fell asleep, dreaming of clouds of dollar bills swirling past her as if blown by the wind. She tried to catch some, but they always evaded her grasp. Thousands and thousands of dollars! Oh, why couldn’t they all be hers?
I know it’s short (10-sentence limit), but what do you think of this snippet? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.
ARHtistic License 
A celebration party is definitely not the same as winning the lottery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel a little guilty… but I sympathize with Lottie!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, good. I wanted her emotions to strike a chord.
LikeLike
I like the image of a rainfall of money.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve heard lottery wins can be very bad for friendships. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
I too wonder if this friendship will ever be the same.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would want to feel happy for my friend, too. But envy is a sneaky green monster. Even though I know winning the lottery ruins lives, it has an appeal!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wonder about that dream … nice snippet
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess winning the lottery would fulfill some longed for dreams – but a sudden windfall can be destructive too. I can’t help sympathising with Lottie, if I ever had a big win I’d want to give some away to my friends, but I suppose that can have repucussions too!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suppose we can thank God that we’ve never had the burden of a large amount of cash dumped in our laps. Really, it would make life so complicated!
LikeLike
Doesn’t sound like much of a friend — it sounds like she just called to brag.
Love the dream.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting that she called her neighbor/friend before her mother.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My kids would do that.
LikeLike