Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #75

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #75

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday participants share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the links to see the full lists.

Lottie Loses the Lottery (picture book): Lottie has the worst luck. She didn’t win the lottery–but her next-door neighbor, Eva, did. How can Lottie shed her funky mood and be genuinely happy for Eva?

Money

Lottie just found out that Eva gave her friend Greta a new sewing machine, and she’s even more jealous than before. (Please excuse the run-on sentence. I’ve “creatively” edited so that I can squeeze as much content as possible into the 10-sentence limit.)

Lottie went to the bathroom and glanced at the mirror. A bitter face scowled back at her.

“What are you looking at?” Lottie asked her reflection.

“An ungrateful friend,” said the face in the mirror.

“What do I have to be grateful for? I lost the lottery,” said Lottie.

“So did a lot of people. But Eva won, and you didn’t congratulate her; she invited you to her party, and you didn’t go; she gave you an expensive present, and you didn’t even thank her for it.”

“She’s a bazillionaire–she can afford it.”

“And you can afford to be happy for her,” said the sulky reflection.

Let’s just say Lottie’s on the verge of a breakthrough that will help her get over her funk and congratulate Eva on her win.

This is the last snippet from Lottie Loses the Lottery. Next time I’ll share from the story I started on my recent writer’s retreat.

I know it’s short, but what do you think of this snippet? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

4 responses »

  1. Thank goodness she’s beginning to see haw mean she’s been and hopefully will be able to congratulate her friend on her good luck, and be able to share in her enjoyment – I think it’s lovely the way Eva gave her friends generous gifts, and threw a party for them. I wonder if Lottie would have been so generous and sharing.

    Like

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