Category Archives: Humor

Quiz: Are You 65+ Years Old And Cool?

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Quiz: Are You 65+ Years Old And Cool?

Are you one of the cool seniors, or are you lame regardless of your mobility status? Answer these questions truthfully and total your score to discover your coolness quotient.

  1. How many grandchildren do you have?
    1. Heck, I don’t even have kids!
    2. Maybe someday.
    3. One.
    4. Two or more.
  2. How many of these musicians are you familiar with: Jonas Brothers, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran, Panic! At the Disco, Drake, Khalid, Tool, Skillet, Post Malone, BTS?
    1. Zero to three.
    2. Four or five.
    3. Six or seven.
    4. Eight to ten.
  3. How many of these superheroes are you familiar with: Green Lantern, Flash, Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine, Superman, Iron Man, Spiderman, Batman?
    1. Zero.
    2. One to five.
    3. Six or seven.
    4. Eight to ten.
  4. How do you watch movies?
    1. On VHS.
    2. On network television.
    3. I rent DVDs from Red Box, borrow them from the library, or buy them.
    4. I stream them (Netflix, Hulu, Prime, etc.) or go to the movie theater.
  5. Do you have an iPhone?
    1. I only have a land line.
    2. I have a flip phone, a Jitterbug, a Blackberry, or some other non-smart phone.
    3. I have a Pixel, a Moto, a Nokia, an LG, an Android, or some other non-Apple phone.
    4. Yes.
  6. What year was your car made?
    1. I don’t have a car.
    2. Before 2000.
    3. 2000-2018.
    4. 2019-2020.
  7. How do you connect with your friends?
    1. Snail mail.
    2. Text, email, or social media.
    3. Telephone, FaceTime, or Skype.
    4. In person.
  8. Do you know all the restaurants with senior discounts and only go there during those designated days and times?
    1. I prefer to eat at home.
    2. Of course. I tip based on the discount price.
    3. Of course. But I tip based on the full-amount price.
    4. No, I go when I can pay full-price.
  9. What time do you go to bed?
    1. 8:00.
    2. 9:00.
    3. 10:00.
    4. 11:00.
  10. What would you like people to remember about you?
    1. To stay the heck off my lawn.
    2. That I made lots of money.
    3. That I have lots of friends.
    4. That I am kind and generous.

alex-harvey-34864

How to Score

Question If you answered: Give yourself: Rationale
1 a or b 3 points Even though it’s cooler to have grandkids, if you don’t, it’s not your fault.
c or d 4 points Super cool!
2 a 1 point Pathetic.
b 2 points Not bad.
c 3 points Pretty cool.
d 4 points Super cool!
3 a 4 points Obviously, you have better uses for your time.
b 1 point A little bit cool.
c 2 points A little more cool.
d 3 points Very cool (in some circles).
4 a 1 point You get one point because your VCR is still working.
b 1 point Super old-school.
c 3 points A little bit old-school.
d 4 points This is what the cool people do.
5 a 1 point You are invited to join the 21st century.
b 2 points You are also invited to join the 21st century.
c 3 points Pretty cool.
d 4 points Super cool.
6 a 4 points At your age, not driving but using public transportation could be the sexiest alternative.
b 3 points There are some way cool classic cars in that range.
c 2 points Boring.
d 4 points Super cool.
7 a 3 points Thank you for keeping letter-writing from being a lost art.
b 3 points Way to be tech-savvy.
c 3 points There’s something special about a human voice.
d 4 points Coolest of all.
8 a 3 points There are health and financial benefits to eating at home.
b 1 point Too cheap to be cool.
c 4 points Super cool!
d 1 point Why would you do that?
9 a, b, c, or d, if you get less than 8 hours of sleep 1 point You’re not getting optimum rest.
a, b, c, or d, if you get at least 8 hours of sleep 4 points Well-rested is super cool.
10 a 1 point Not cool.
b 1 point Cool people don’t care about that.
c 3 points Being friendly is cool.
d 4 points If it’s true, that’s super cool.

What Your Score Reveals About Your Coolness Quotient 

Score What it means:
1-15 Dude, you’re just not trying.
16-23 You’re sort of cool.
24-31 You’re cooler than most.
32-40 You’re beyond cool—you’re awesome!

Now it’s your turn. Did you learn something new about yourself? Are there other criteria for coolness that you would take into account? Share in the comments below.

If you enjoyed taking this quiz, please make my day by clicking the “Like” button and by sharing on all your social media. Thanks!

Creative Juice #136

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Creative Juice #136

Great offerings today:

Creative Juice #129

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Creative Juice #129

Dream, gather inspiration, and create!

  1. Zoology anatomy lesson.
  2. A knitting designer shares some of her sketches.
  3. How artists deal with the pain of lost love.
  4. Life in the 1800s beautifully captured by Mary Ellen Best.
  5. When photographer Omar Robles went home to Puerto Rico, he was so shocked by the devastation and abandoned buildings (aftermath of Hurricane Maria) that he photographed dancers against the background of ruins.
  6. You don’t need lots of room for a book nook.
  7. Tips from a street photographer.
  8. The gorgeous illustrations of Kayla Herren.
  9. If you want to move a big rock over 100 miles, be prepared to apply for a lot of permits.
  10. Many variations on the iconic face of the New Yorker.
  11. Sketches from Disneyland.
  12. Beautiful Bulgarian folk dances. (I’d rather be dancing!)

Creative Juice #118

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Creative Juice #118

A banquet of ideas.

Creative Juice #114

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Creative Juice #114

Oh, the web is full of joy and beauty…

Guest Post: 5 Techniques to Make Your Readers Laugh by Lisa Wells

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Guest Post: 5 Techniques to Make Your Readers Laugh by Lisa Wells

A big ARHtistic License thank you to the hysterical Lisa Wells for these humor-writing tips, which first appeared on Writers in the Storm.

Every book needs a dose of laughter. Even hard-core, freak-out scary stuff needs a scene or a sentence or a word intended to allow the reader a moment to breathe out some of the tension you’ve mummified them in for pages and pages and breathe in ease.

This post will acquaint you with five make-them-laugh techniques you can choose from when you want to give your readers a giggle, chuckle, snigger or even a good old-fashioned, snorting,  belly laugh.

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Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

5. K — the sound it makes is the funniest letter

This rule appears to be universally agreed upon by comedians. So much so, that in Neil Simon’s 1972 play The Sunshine Boys, there’s a scene in which an aging comedian schools his nephew on comedy and the letter k:

“Fifty-seven years in this business, you learn a few things. You know what words are funny and which words are not funny. Alka Seltzer is funny. You say ‘Alka Seltzer’ you get a laugh … Words with k in them are funny. Casey Stengel, that’s a funny name. Robert Taylor is not funny. Cupcake is funny. Tomato is not funny. Cookie is funny. Cucumber is funny. Car keys. Cleveland … Cleveland is funny. Maryland is not funny. Then, there’s chicken. Chicken is funny. Pickle is funny. Cab is funny. Cockroach is funny — not if you get ’em, only if you say ’em.”

This is an easy way to add a touch of subtle humor to your writing. Any author can give the diner their character is hiding out in a funny k-name. (Crunchy Cracker Café). By the way, according to my research, these sounds are funniest when you put them in the middle of sentences. (I don’t write the rules — I’m just reporting them.)

Closeup portrait of a group of business people laughing

4. Shock

If you want to make your readers laugh, shock them. According to Author Scott Dikkers in his book How To Write Funny, this funny filter includes anything you shouldn’t say in mixed company.  He also says it’s a method best used like a garnish. Never the main course.

Example: The television series The Black List deals with grim storylines. The kind that make you me want to close your eyes and turn down the sound. Here is one example of how they used shock to elicit laughter in the midst of a tense scene in which Reddington is trying to extract information from a guy who is part of an illegal organ transplant ring. The bad guy has a heart condition, and Reddington (the bad guy you can’t help but love) has spiked his drink with Viagra.

“Those drinks you’ve been enjoying on the house? They weren’t from the house. They were from me. I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of adding a special surprise ingredient. Something to treat any localized dysfunction you may be suffering. Has the little man been falling down on the job? It’s a miracle drug, not so much for a glutton with a bum heart, however. But look on the bright side, you’ll die with a marvelous erection.”

woman laughing white holding knees

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

3. Misdirection

As an author, you can easily set your readers up to they think they know what’s going to come next — and then throw them a curveball.  An example of this can be found in another scene from the show The Black List.  The character, Reddington, is standing in front of this huge portrait of a woman hanging on the wall in someone’s house, and he says:

“Last night I got up for a scoop of orange sherbet and she caught my eye. I just stood here in the dark, squinting at her. She’s breathtakingly unattractive.”

The curveball is the word unattractive. Up until this point, the audience thinks he’s going to wax poetic about her beauty, and he doesn’t. Not only is she unattractive, she’s breathtakingly unattractive. Breathtakingly misdirects us to think beautiful. Had he said very unattractive, the laugh wouldn’t have come. But he used a word that our brains are trained to pair with the word beautiful. We were misdirected, and as a result, we laughed.

To continue reading, click here.

Creative Juice #113

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Creative Juice #113

Articles curated especially to enhance your creativity.