Category Archives: Humor

Creative Juice #197

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Creative Juice #197

ABC: Art. Beauty. Creativity.

Creative Juice #190

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Creative Juice #190

Lots of fun, and one solemn thing:

Creative Juice #189

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Creative Juice #189

Good ideas, along with silly stuff and nerdy stuff.

Lemon Surprise

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lemon tree

A few years ago we had our yard landscaped, and we acquired three citrus trees: an orange, a grapefruit, and a lemon. This year we had a bumper lemon crop. I still have lemons on the tree that need to be picked. We love to squeeze fresh lemon juice into our drinking water—so refreshing!

Last week I picked a doubled-brown-paper grocery bagful of lemons. These are Meyer lemons, and they grow to the size of little Nerf footballs, with knobby little protuberances on them. My friends have told me to freeze fresh lemon juice in ice cube trays, then store the cubes in baggies in the freezer and use them as you need them. Sounds like a good idea!

I bought a bunch of plastic ice cube trays at the dollar store, got out my 40-year-old electric juicer, and squoze away. I’d been grabbing the lemons one at a time out of the bag.

When I was down to my last tray, I peeked into the bag to see how many lemons were still in there.

The good news: only three left.

The bad news: there was also a scorpion wiggling around in the bag.

scorpion

No, this is not my scorpion, but he looked alot like this. Photo by janeb13 on Pixabay.

We live in Arizona. We are no strangers to scorpions. We go for months without seeing any, and then one will tour the bathroom. We have flyswatters hanging on nails throughout the house; they are my weapon of choice against scorpions.

I took the bag outside and dumped it out on the patio. The scorpion, a common tan bark scorpion, and a big one at that, about four inches, lifted his enormous claws, stuck his powerful tail up in the air, and marched right toward me. I could have just stepped on him, but he was huge—what if I missed? He looked like he could hold a grudge.

Not seeing anything good to whack him with, I ran into the house to get my flyswatter. When I came out, he was nowhere to be found.

The next morning, I let Ralph outside, and I noticed all the water had evaporated from his bowl on the patio. So I picked it up to refill it. . .

. . . and there, underneath, was the scorpion. He took one look at me, said, “What?! You again?!” and brandished his claws and stinger at me.

I ran inside for my flyswatter, and when I returned—he was gone again.

It’s been almost a week since then and I haven’t seen him.

But that doesn’t mean he’s gone.

Creative Juice #188

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Creative Juice #188

Three poems this week, some funny stuff, and some useful information, as well as beauty.

Creative Juice #181

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Creative Juice #181

Yeah, lots of art.

Creative Juice #178

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Creative Juice #178

The strange, the beautiful, and the funny.

7 Reasons Why it’s Important to Have a Sense of Humor

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7 Reasons Why it’s Important to Have a Sense of Humor

I suppose it’s possible to get through life without a sense of humor, but why would you want to?

  1. Humor diffuses uncomfortable situations. The Bible tells us “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1 NIV) .” My husband takes that principle one step further. I love the guy, but he has no filter—he just blurts out whatever’s on his mind. Whenever he sees me react with pain or fury to something he just said, he’ll turn it around by saying something bizarre, like “I mean, squirrels’ bread sinks.” (He might have originally said “Your breath stinks.”)
  2. Everyone likes to laugh. Funny people are fun to be around. At a party, people surround the funniest person in the room. Someone once told Greg, “I like to come to church so I can see what your t-shirt says.” I hope that’s not her only reason for coming to church, but that day his shirt read, “I plan on living forever. So far, so good.”
  3. Humor can help you make friends. This is a corollary of point #2. When people laugh, they connect.Closeup portrait of a group of business people laughing
  4. Humor can lead to marriage. This is a corollary of point #3. When I returned to my home town after a year and a half at an out-of-state university, my friend Patty invited me to join a single young adults club at a local church. She had a male friend she wanted me to meet, but I only had eyes for Greg. When we were dating, by the end of the evening my facial muscles ached from laughing so hard. Within a month we were talking about marriage. We celebrated our 46th anniversary this year. We’re still laughing together.
  5. Humor makes you memorable. When you’re at a meeting with a lot of strangers, the one you’ll remember is probably the one who made you laugh.
  6. Humor helps get you out of a funk. Sometimes it’s hard to find a silver lining when you’re enduring a depressing situation. You just have to hang on until it resolves. But you can escape for an hour by indulging in funny business.
  7. Humor heals. Laughter is the best medicine, because it stimulates the immune system and lowers cortisol levels. Check out what the How Stuff Works people say.

I wanted to end this article with a funny video. I watched lots of contenders, but every video had at least one joke that I found offensive. So, instead, I’m posting an adorable video. It might not make you laugh out loud, but I guarantee it will make you smile.

Creative Juice #166

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Creative Juice #166

Neat stuff found online.

Video of the Week #226: How to be a Classical Musician

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If only it were this easy.