Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary is camping out in the woods by herself (so she can protect the unicorn), unbeknownst to her parents. While gathering firewood, she hears the secret whistle of her former best friend, Allie, and meets her. (Sorry for the wonky punctuation; trying to adhere to the length guidelines.)

“Hi, let’s go to our tree,” said Hillary.

“Climbing trees is kid stuff.”

“Oh–what’s up?”

“Your parents called and asked for you.”

Hillary gulped air.

“Don’t worry, I covered for you—I remembered they were on their honeymoon and you were supposed to stay with us. I said you were at the library and I didn’t want to go. I asked if they were having fun, and your dad said yes. I told them you were fine and they shouldn’t worry, they should just enjoy their honeymoon.”

“Wow, Allie, thanks.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary is camping in the woods by herself.

A snuffling sound roused Hillary to semi-consciousness. Opening her eyes to pre-dawn gloom, she heard a deep groan. She maneuvered herself onto her hands and knees and peeked out of the tent.

A hulking black shape nosed at the base of a tree by her campsite. Bear, bear, bear!

Hillary crawled out of the far end of the tent and soundlessly rose to her feet. Keeping her eyes on the bear, she backed away.

The bear stood up on its hind legs, sniffed the air, and turned to face Hillary.

Despite her pounding heart, she addressed him with all the assertiveness she could muster. “Bear, I’m not going to bother you, and you’re not going to bother me.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary, charged with protecting the unicorn, is camping in the woods all alone.

Yeah, I know, my sentences run on, but I’m trying to abide by the snippet restrictions.

A loud pop pop pop woke Hillary from a sound sleep. She sat up straight and listened, heart pounding. Are hunters shooting at Bob? 

Another pop seemed to come from the direction of the clearing. Shivers ran down her arms, and she carefully stepped around tree roots determined to trip her. Every tree trunk could be hiding a person with a gun.

The trip to the meadow took longer than usual, especially because of the added danger, every minute punctuated with another loud pop, which only added to her dread. When she finally stepped into the clearing, she heard a whistling sound, followed by a bang and a burst of light drawing her eyes upward, where she saw…fireworks!

She ticked the days off on her fingers. Yep—the fourth of July; the town fathers must be setting off a fireworks show down by the lake.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 22? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

On one of Hillary’s daily walks in the forest with the unicorn (Bob), he leads her to the top of a mountain, from which she can see her whole town. While sitting there, looking down…

Absently, she patted Bob’s nearby leg. “Everything looks so different from up here. You’ve shown me my neighborhood from a whole new perspective.” Hillary looked up at Bob’s wise face…

…and saw herself acting snotty toward her step-mother. Conversations in which she responded maliciously to Kate came flooding into her memory. Scenes in which she screamed, “You’re not my real mother!” The hatefulness in her words embarrassed her. The hurt reflected in Kate’s face shamed her. Hillary could hardly breathe. Am I a horrible person?

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 22? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary, on her quest to protect the unicorn, has a bad first night in the woods. Here’s a little bit of her journal entry:

I don’t think I’d been sleeping very long before voices jolted me awake. I couldn’t make out words, only growls and moans. I wasn’t even sure if the voices were human, or animal sounds. I wished I had my flashlight, but then I remembered where I’d left it–on top of the pillowcase, next to my cache tree.

Trying to sound formidable, I called out, “Who’s there?” Mocking laughter was the only answer I heard. My heart pounding, I maneuvered onto my hands and knees and poked my head out of the tent. In the dark, I could only make out the even darker shapes of tree trunks and limbs. But suddenly I saw thousands of tiny glistening paired lights. Were they…eyes?

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.