Tag Archives: Fantasy

Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #47

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #47

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary is camping out in the woods by herself (so she can protect the unicorn), unbeknownst to her parents. While gathering firewood, she hears the secret whistle of her former best friend, Allie, and meets her. (Sorry for the wonky punctuation; trying to adhere to the length guidelines.)

“Hi, let’s go to our tree,” said Hillary.wewriwa2

“Climbing trees is kid stuff.”

“Oh–what’s up?”

“Your parents called and asked for you.”

Hillary gulped air.

“Don’t worry, I covered for you—I remembered they were on their honeymoon and you were supposed to stay with us. I said you were at the library and I didn’t want to go. I asked if they were having fun, and your dad said yes. I told them you were fine and they shouldn’t worry, they should just enjoy their honeymoon.”

“Wow, Allie, thanks.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

 

 

Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #46

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #46

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary is camping in the woods by herself.

A snuffling sound roused Hillary to semi-consciousness. Opening her eyes to pre-dawn gloom, she heard a deep groan. She maneuvered herself onto her hands and knees and peeked out of the tent.

A hulking black shape nosed at the base of a tree by her campsite. Bear, bear, bear!

Hillary crawled out of the far end of the tent and soundlessly rose to her feet. Keeping her eyes on the bear, she backed away.

The bear stood up on its hind legs, sniffed the air, and turned to face Hillary.

Despite her pounding heart, she addressed him with all the assertiveness she could muster. “Bear, I’m not going to bother you, and you’re not going to bother me.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 23? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #45

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Snippet #45

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary, charged with protecting the unicorn, is camping in the woods all alone.

Yeah, I know, my sentences run on, but I’m trying to abide by the snippet restrictions.

A loud pop pop pop woke Hillary from a sound sleep. She sat up straight and listened, heart pounding. Are hunters shooting at Bob? 

Another pop seemed to come from the direction of the clearing. Shivers ran down her arms, and she carefully stepped around tree roots determined to trip her. Every tree trunk could be hiding a person with a gun.

The trip to the meadow took longer than usual, especially because of the added danger, every minute punctuated with another loud pop, which only added to her dread. When she finally stepped into the clearing, she heard a whistling sound, followed by a bang and a burst of light drawing her eyes upward, where she saw…fireworks!

She ticked the days off on her fingers. Yep—the fourth of July; the town fathers must be setting off a fireworks show down by the lake.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 22? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writng Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #44

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Weekend Writng Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #44

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

On one of Hillary’s daily walks in the forest with the unicorn (Bob), he leads her to the top of a mountain, from which she can see her whole town. While sitting there, looking down…

wewriwa2Absently, she patted Bob’s nearby leg. “Everything looks so different from up here. You’ve shown me my neighborhood from a whole new perspective.” Hillary looked up at Bob’s wise face…

…and saw herself acting snotty toward her step-mother. Conversations in which she responded maliciously to Kate came flooding into her memory. Scenes in which she screamed, “You’re not my real mother!” The hatefulness in her words embarrassed her. The hurt reflected in Kate’s face shamed her. Hillary could hardly breathe. Am I a horrible person?

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 22? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

 

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #43

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #43

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary is camping in the woods by herself so she can keep an eye on the unicorn. She’s settled into a morning routine of going to the stream with her pot to gather water, so she can boil it for drinking. This morning, she also catches her breakfast.

Once there, she took a good look at her pot. The outside had blackened from the flames. Inside, dried noodles clung to the sides. She plunged the pot in the stream and scrubbed it with her washcloth. Little bits of noodle floated downstream.

Hillary’s conscience panged. Was it bad to put noodles in the stream?

wewriwa2She noticed a small fish gobbling up the noodles. Reflexively, her hand darted into the water and closed around the fish, who struggled, so she cupped her other hand around it as well. She walked over to a tree, gripped the fish securely by its tail and, squeezing her eyes shut tight, swung it against the tree trunk.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 22? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #42

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #42

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

It’s Hillary’s second night camping alone in the woods. She’s just crawled into her sleeping bag.wewriwa2

Moments later, the whispers began. Worthless! Stupid! Why don’t you just die? Go away! You’re not welcome here.

Hillary sat up and shuddered. She clamped her hands over her ears and rocked herself. She could still hear the taunting words.

Trembling and whimpering to drown out the voices, she clamped her eyes shut to deaden her sense of doom.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from the end of Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #41

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #41

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

A couple of snippets ago, Hillary spent her first night camping out in the woods. It didn’t go well. The next day, she tells Bob (the unicorn) all about it.

Looking into his intelligent eyes, she confided, “I had a bad night.”wewriwa2

Bob nodded knowingly.

“I’m afraid—”

Bob shook his head vehemently enough to knock Hillary’s caressing hand off his neck.

“You don’t think I should be afraid?”

Again, Bob shook his head vigorously.

“But creatures were watching me and growling…”

Bob’s eyes blinked. In them, Hillary read reassurance.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #40

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #40

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Willis Terwilliger is a cosmetics magnate and big-game hunter (this is 1967, before there were laws prohibiting it). On the way home from a fishing trip in an earlier chapter, he stopped for a meal at Niko’s, a diner, also a hangout for the kids who go to Hillary’s school. He overheard Hillary’s friend Allie gossiping about her (Hillary’s) unicorn obsession, insisting she’d seen one in the woods.

In another part of the forest, Willis Terwilliger tread softly in his tan pocketed hunting vest, camera around his neck. Before he committed to the hunt, he wanted to be sure his quarry actually existed, and not just in the minds of goofy teenagers.

He stooped to examine some hoofprints, like a deer’s, but larger. Next to it he spied small shoeprints, maybe size six or seven. If these were indeed unicorn tracks, then the story of the kids who had seen it was true.

wewriwa2He imagined himself bringing down the legendary beast–it would take all his patience and cunning. Maybe he’d have to stalk it for days, weeks. But in the end, his skill would pay off, and his taxidermist would have the immensely satisfying job of preserving a unique specimen. His party guests would congratulate him on his good fortune, and he would beguile them with stories of his own courage and perseverance.

Willis snapped a photo of the tracks, and then followed them, smiling.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #39

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #39

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

7. The Unicorn in Captivity

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

Hillary, on her quest to protect the unicorn, has a bad first night in the woods. Here’s a little bit of her journal entry:

I don’t think I’d been sleeping very long before voices jolted me awake. I couldn’t make out words, only growls and moans. I wasn’t even sure if the voices were human, or animal sounds. I wished I had my flashlight, but then I remembered where I’d left it–on top of the pillowcase, next to my cache tree.

Trying to sound formidable, I called out, “Who’s there?” Mocking laughter was the only answer I heard. My heart pounding, I maneuvered onto my hands and knees and poked my head out of the tent. In the dark, I could only make out the even darker shapes of tree trunks and limbs. But suddenly I saw thousands of tiny glistening paired lights. Were they…eyes?

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 21? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #38

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Weekend Writing Warriors: Andrea’s Snippet #38

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

7. The Unicorn in Captivity

The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.

We return to Beth and Dave, who in last week’s snippet tried to cut off the unicorn’s horn, earning a nice goring for Dave. We pick up a few moments later.

“I’m taking off your shirt,” she said, starting to undo his buttons.

Dave shook his head no.

“You need a bandage, and I’m not taking off my shirt.” She finished unbuttoning him and stripped the shirt off. She folded up the body of the shirt, centered it on the puncture in his chest, and tied it around him with the sleeves. “Put pressure on that.”

Obediently, Dave pressed his hand over the wound.

Beth put his other arm around her neck. “Now stand up–I’ll help you.”

Dave struggled to his feet, crying out in pain.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 20? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.