Tag Archives: YA

Snippet #29 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #29 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

Teenager Hillary took her boyfriend deep into the woods to see the unicorn (Bob). When they arrived, they had to battle two people who were trying to capture Bob. Hillary has revealed that while her parents are away on their honeymoon, instead of staying with her neighbor, she’s going to camp in the forest to protect Bob.

“I’m worried about you being in the woods all alone,” said Robin, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. “If they come back, it’ll be two against one.”

“I’ll just have to be twice as scary.”

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Yes, I am.”

Robin’s forehead creased as he suggested, “Maybe you should go to Allie’s instead.”

“No, I can’t do that. It’s my destiny to protect the unicorn.”

“Well, if you’re the chosen one, you have what it takes to do the job.”

“Thank you–I hope you’re right.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small snippet from Chapter 16? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Snippet #28 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #28 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

In last week’s excerpt, Hillary and Robin thwarted two unicorn hunters who were trying to capture Bob (the unicorn). Hillary knows Bob well, but Robin’s only seen him from a distance before. After the hunters leave, Robin gets his first chance to actually touch Bob.

He reached out his hand to stroke the unicorn’s back. Bob responded by nuzzling him, making Robin grin. “He likes me.”

“What’s not to like?” Hillary said. Her face flushed with self-consciousness.

But Robin kept his eyes on Bob. He touched the horn, and quickly pulled back his fingers. “His horn pulsates.”

Hillary touched it tentatively. “It’s vibrating, like energy is running through it.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small snippet from Chapter 16? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Snippet #27 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #27 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

Today’s snippet [edited to fit] is a continuation of last week‘s. Deep in the woods, Hillary and Robin heard a commotion and suspected it involved the unicorn (Bob). Investigating, they found two people (Dave and Beth) attempting to capture Bob. They interfered, and Bob escaped.

Hillary rounded Robin and got in the man’s face. “You can’t catch the unicorn.”

“Well, I almost did, and I will, next time!”

“Over my dead body!” challenged Hillary, her fists clenched.

“Come on, Dave, let’s go; we won’t get him today,” interceded the woman.

“Don’t you ever butt in again, missy,” shouted the man, pointing his finger at Hillary. “You don’t know who you’re messing with.”

“Neither do you,” retorted Hillary.

She watched as the man and woman retreated. When they were out of sight, Hillary turned to Robin and said, “Oh my gosh–I have to save the unicorn—from them.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Snippet #26 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #26 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

This snippet begins immediately after last week’s. Hillary and Robin have hiked into the woods to see the unicorn (Bob), and they hear a commotion. They investigate and confront two people who are trying to capture Bob.

A man had one arm around Bob’s neck and held onto his horn with the other. A woman struggled to put a bridle’s bit in the unicorn’s mouth.

Hillary ran directly into the fray. “You’re hurting him!” she shouted as she pushed the woman out of the way. Then she pummeled the man with her fists. Bob twisted himself out of the man’s grasp and galloped away.

The man squared off against Hillary. “What’s the matter with you? We almost had it.”

Stepping between them, Robin challenged, “Back off, mister.”

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.

Snippet #25 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #25 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

A few hours after last week’s excerpt, Hillary and Robin arrive at the clearing in the woods where she first saw the unicorn (nicknamed Bob). Robin picks her a bouquet of wildflowers, which she takes and lays down at the campsite she’s prepared in the woods, which she will occupy starting the next day.

            Hillary put the flowers down right where her sleeping bag would go. “I’m surprised Bob isn’t here yet. He usually shows himself soon after I get here—”

She stopped and turned her eyes to Robin. The alarmed look on his face told her he’d heard it, too—voices shouting in the distance. “Let’s go.”

They ran in the direction of the voices, not to the clearing but deeper into the woods. The voices grew louder, more insistent. Through the trees Hillary saw a flash of white and flailing hooves.

“Stop!” screamed Hillary.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.

Snippet #24 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #24 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

From Chapter 15: It’s the first day of summer vacation (after freshman year), and Hillary and Robin are in the woods, hiking to where the unicorn lives. Robin just griped about not getting to sleep in that morning because of their trek.

“You’ve got all summer for that, and you won’t see me for more than a week.”

“Yeah, isn’t that weird?  It’s our first time being separated for that long,” Robin pointed out.

Hillary let the thought sink in. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“I feel the same way. Being an Army brat, I’ve had a lot of practice getting used to new schools, but this time, you made it a lot easier.”

Hillary smiled and lowered her eyes. Does he like me, in a boyfriend kind of way? The prospect of spending the day with Robin just got sweeter.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.

Snippet #23 from the Unicornologist

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Snippet #23 from the Unicornologist

It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors! Every Sunday, a bunch of writers post 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs. There’s a lot of reading, commenting and great writing. Click on the link to see the full list.

This excerpt from Chapter 13 comes soon after last week’s. Dave and Beth recently discovered a unicorn in the forest. Researching unicorns, Dave learned their horns are reputed to purify water. He’s called Beth to propose they go into business together, using the unicorn and its horn to remedy water pollution.

Beth asked, “Sorry–how are we going to catch it?”

“How hard could it be? We rent a horse trailer, and we bring rope and a bridle. We find the unicorn, put the bridle on it, and lead it to the trailer. Nothing to it.”

“I have a feeling it’s not going to be that easy.”

“We’ll bring sugar cubes or carrots, something it would like to eat, to tempt it with. Are you in–equal partners? We could call ourselves Unicorn Enterprises. We could get business cards printed up and everything,” said Dave.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 13? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.