Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
Today is the day Hillary’s dad and stepmom embarked on their belated honeymoon. It’s also the day she planned to start a week-long camping trip in the woods all by herself. She hurried her folks out the door by making them a send-off breakfast and volunteering to do the kitchen cleanup before supposedly going to stay with the neighbors. Unfortunately, just as she was about to leave, it started to storm. Many hours later…
Tired of stitching, she put aside her needlepoint, retrieved her unicornology notebook and a pen from her suitcase, and took them upstairs to her bedroom. She plopped on the bed and opened the book to a clean page. Operation Save the Unicorn, she wrote on the top line.
Saturday, July 1, 1967. Today was supposed to be the first day of the mission, but it’s raining cats, dogs, zebras, and giraffes, so it looks like I’ll have to wait for tomorrow. I’m disap—
Bright light flashed through the window, followed by a heart-stopping boom and near-total darkness as Hillary’s lamp went out. Except for the pounding of rain on the roof, the house was eerily silent. It was too dark to continue writing in her notebook, too dark to go back to her needlepoint. With no electricity, she couldn’t watch TV, she couldn’t listen to music, there was literally nothing she could do.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 19? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.
ARHtistic License 
Not sure how old she is, but even I would be freaked out being at home alone with no power. Is she going to go to the neighbor’s house now? Her mission seems to be history at this point.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love the name of her project, and nothing is freakier than being trapped in sudden darkness without expecting it. :S
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, maybe she can try to go save that unicorn. 😉 Or take a nap.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yuck. Nothing worse than sitting on your hands when you want to be DOING something.
LikeLiked by 1 person
She seems pretty calm about the power being out! Interesting snippet, I think you conveyed the experience of the storm quite vividly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm, maybe Mother Nature is telling her she needs to get out there and rescue the unicorn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
No light and no power, alone, with nothing to do. That would make me crazed! Good snippet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is where I’d light some candles and start reading… but maybe she can think about her plan, even if she can’t write it down…
LikeLiked by 1 person
If the power goes out often, she would take it in stride. If not, I’d think she’d be a little freaked. I can feel her frustration with wanting to do something and being unable to.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is so 21st Century: with the electricity out, life comes to a standstill . . . but I suspect she’ll find something to keep herself gainfully occupied.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. That means time for mischief..
Or sleep ;-}
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah–you guessed it.
LikeLiked by 1 person