Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
Today is the day Hillary’s dad and stepmom embarked on their belated honeymoon. It’s also the day she planned to start a week-long camping trip in the woods all by herself. She hurried her folks out the door by making them a send-off breakfast and volunteering to do the kitchen cleanup before supposedly going to stay with the neighbors. Unfortunately, just as she was about to leave, it started to storm. Many hours later…
Tired of stitching, she put aside her needlepoint, retrieved her unicornology notebook and a pen from her suitcase, and took them upstairs to her bedroom. She plopped on the bed and opened the book to a clean page. Operation Save the Unicorn, she wrote on the top line.
Saturday, July 1, 1967. Today was supposed to be the first day of the mission, but it’s raining cats, dogs, zebras, and giraffes, so it looks like I’ll have to wait for tomorrow. I’m disap—
Bright light flashed through the window, followed by a heart-stopping boom and near-total darkness as Hillary’s lamp went out. Except for the pounding of rain on the roof, the house was eerily silent. It was too dark to continue writing in her notebook, too dark to go back to her needlepoint. With no electricity, she couldn’t watch TV, she couldn’t listen to music, there was literally nothing she could do.
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 19? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.