Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
Remember Dave? He and his girlfriend, Beth, are environmental activist wannabes who attend the Silent Spring book club at the local library. They previously discovered the unicorn when they went into the State Forest to collect a water sample.
Dave’s phone rang.
“It’s me,” said Beth. “I just got a call from Mark Markus. You know, the nerd from the chemistry department who’s analyzing our water sample.”
“Did he give you the results?”
“Not even a trace of pesticides. And he said that was weird, because he did another sample from the State Forest a month ago that had unacceptable levels.”
Dave pondered the significance of the findings. “I know why our sample doesn’t have any pesticides. The unicorn put its horn in the water. It works–it really purifies water!”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 19? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.