Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.
The Unicornologist ~ High school freshman Hillary Noone, on a field trip to The Cloisters, receives a prophecy: she is destined to save the unicorn. Though she shrugs it off as being preposterous, soon life imitates art, and she finds herself in mortal danger.
In last week’s snippet, Hillary was able to thwart Dave and Beth’s plan to saw off the unicorn’s horn.
Back at their tent, Beth reevaluated their plan. “This is impossible. We’ll never get the horn,” said Beth.
“That’s because we’ve been going about it all wrong. We’ve been trying to cut a horn off a live unicorn,” countered Dave.
“You don’t mean—”
“Yes. We kill the unicorn, then cut off the horn. Easy as pie.”
I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 24? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please comment below.
ARHtistic License 
No, no, no! They cannot kill the unicorn. I hope this plan fails, too. You’ve really made me dislike these antagonists.
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These two are getting nasty!
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No, they can’t kill it! There are already so few left these days!
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?Have Dave pull out a knife? It would add a visual to the creepy scene, I think.
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Patience, Betty…it’s coming.
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NO!!!! Don’t kill a unicorn! I will cry. I hope Hillary stops them asap!
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They’d better not kill the unicorn! Hillary will stop them, I’m sure. Great snippet to elicit such reactions.
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Well, you’ve just really ramped up the stakes. Now Hillary has to succeed.
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Oh DEAR, this is a bad turn for sure! I’ll keep my fingers crossed that Hillary can thwart these nasty people. Quite the snippet!
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Yowza! And if I thought those two were evil before… Worried for the unicorn…
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What a horrible pair hatching a horrible plan! Nice up in tension!
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Yipe! I hope it’s not that easy!
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No! I haven’t read any of the previous excerpts (only just joined this fantastic WWW blog hop) but I hope these two get their just deserts. They must not be allowed to kill a unicorn, don’t they know they’re an endangered species?
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