Snippet #25 from The Unicornologist

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Snippet #25 from The Unicornologist

Every Sunday, the Weekend Writing Warriors share 8-10-sentence snippets from their works-in-progress on their blogs for others to read and comment on. Join the fun! Click on the link to see the full list.

A few hours after last week’s excerpt, Hillary and Robin arrive at the clearing in the woods where she first saw the unicorn (nicknamed Bob). Robin picks her a bouquet of wildflowers, which she takes and lays down at the campsite she’s prepared in the woods, which she will occupy starting the next day.

            Hillary put the flowers down right where her sleeping bag would go. “I’m surprised Bob isn’t here yet. He usually shows himself soon after I get here—”

She stopped and turned her eyes to Robin. The alarmed look on his face told her he’d heard it, too—voices shouting in the distance. “Let’s go.”

They ran in the direction of the voices, not to the clearing but deeper into the woods. The voices grew louder, more insistent. Through the trees Hillary saw a flash of white and flailing hooves.

“Stop!” screamed Hillary.

I know it’s short (the limit is ten sentences), but what do you think of this small excerpt from Chapter 15? Any suggestions on how I can make it better? Please leave your comments below.

3 responses »

    • They nicknamed him “Bob” so that they could talk about him without anyone overhearing them say “unicorn.”
      It’s Hillary who speaks in the second paragraph. I’ll fix that in the manuscript.

      Like

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